Attention all carol singers
In the
lead-up to the festive season, readers’ attention is drawn to official advice
warning carol singers and spectators to be aware of potential dangers.
Here below are four festive
musical favourites. Please join in and sing
along.
While
Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord
came down
And glory shone around
Guidance notes:
The union of
Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to
insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating
arrangements being provided. As a
result, benches stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available.
Shepherds
have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time
of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally
heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note,
the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all
around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses
capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
Jingle
Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open
sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Guidance notes:
A risk
assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for
members of the public.
The risk
assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse
for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions.
Please note
that permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields.
To avoid offending those not participating in
celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud
enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
Little
Donkey
Little donkey, little
donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding
onwards with your precious load.
Guidance notes:
The RSPCA
has issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of
small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is
guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are
required over a four-hour plodding period.
Please note
that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and
Joseph are required to wear facemasks to prevent inhalation of any airborne
particles.
The donkey
has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just
to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey.
To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be
considered an infringement of his equine rights.
Rudolph
the red-nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed
reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it
glows
Guidance notes:
You are advised
that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for
persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R.
Reindeer.
Further to
this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory
and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this
offence.
A full
investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full
pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.
©Michael
McSorley 2015
